BRR Blog – 6 May 2024
Howdie, Road Runners!
Winner of handicap #01, John Whan
The Force was with us this weekend. Sorry, no, May the Fourth was with us. I can’t believe the year is going by so quickly – it’s only six weeks or so until the Summer Solstice (21:54 on Thursday, 20 June 2024), the longest day of the year in the northern hemisphere. After that, the days start getting shorter again. Boo!
I’m sure our Hainault Forest-dwelling friend, Dottie Dear, is looking forward to the Summer Solstice. In the meantime, I think she may have been celebrating May Day a bit too hard. Too much prosecco, Dottie?
Dottie Dear’s almanac for May: buzzy things
It was the morning after the Hainault Forest Bumper May Day celebration. Everyone was a bit hungover. The Twat of Basildon had ended up totally plastered, Squire Jonty’s Hainault Mummers were nursing sore heads and the Elders of the Ancient Order of the Green Man were regretting that they had replaced their usual 10.00pm cups of cocoa with several schooners of sherry.
Dottie was no better. She had slept late – not even hearing the pounding of the Bunrunners on their early morning training round, or the clacking of the Hobby Horse as it made its way back to the stables. Bleary-eyed, she’d made herself a strong coffee, then sat near the door to wake herself up. Normally, doing the quick crossword in the newspaper would stimulate some brain activity, but her eyes wouldn’t focus and she had to keep reading things twice. She had got 3 Across: Crustacean (4) which was Crab, and Role for 7 Down: Acting Part (4), but anything longer than 4 letters seemed to be eluding her. In particular 22 down: Dazed feeling following sleep or drinking (10) was totally baffling her. She had a couple of G’s in there, and an S, but the cogwheels in her head refused to go around.
Not to worry, however. She’d read all about the benefits of yoga breathing in a recent BRR Blog (15th April) and decided that this might be a perfect head-clearing exercise. She was, for some reason, particularly attracted to the scarily named Bhastika, or Bellows Breath. The description in the blog promised that this technique would be more energising than that cup of coffee and would boost her metabolism – so she overcame her apprehension and decided to go for it. She was relieved to establish that it didn’t actually involve a set of bellows as such (which would have been a bit drastic), and all that was needed was to settle down in a cross-legged position, relax, sharply contract the abdominal muscles when inhaling, and then to exhale sharply as well. Simples!
She had got as far as the crossed legs (bit of a performance, but she managed it) and the trying to relax, when she was distracted by an angry buzzing noise that seemed to be coming from close by. Opening her eyes, she was dismayed to see that a giant bee was banging its nose against the window, desperate to get out but totally missing the door that was wide open just a couple of feet away (isn’t that always the way with insects?)
Emergency! Bees are vital to the environment, and killing it was out of the question. What to do?
A bit of wafting would do the trick, surely, particularly if she used something substantially floppy. Digging around in the living room she could only come up with the RSPB Magazine (which was perhaps a tad stiff for the purpose). Nevertheless, ever the optimist and approaching the insect from behind, she went into that well-known (but useless) insect budging technique – the Posterior Periodical Flap. Predictably, this only resulted in the bee getting a bit more angry and confused.
Another tactic was called for. Perhaps the lure of something sweet would do it. As bees are so important, Dottie was prepared to sacrifice the raspberry tart she had bought in M&S the day before (18 raspberries, therefore one of your 5-a-Day), and she placed it carefully just outside the doorway in the hope that the bee would be attracted and then fly off.
Nope! This proved counter-productive, as the bee now became totally static, with just the occasional buzzlet to indicate its frustration. To make matters worse, a couple of disgusting bluebottles decided the tart was too tempting and clambered all over it. Bah!
Time for a serious think. Dottie really needed a Bee Whisperer. Who to call? Then she had a light-bulb moment – she was sure she had seen a bloke dressed as a druid when she was in M&S. He had been contemplating the organic artichokes at the time – maybe trying to decide between them and a nice Kale and Quinoa Salad for his tea. Had she imagined it? He had had long white hair and beard, under a big Merlinesque hat with a feather in it. Convincingly mystical tinkly bits had been sewn all over his lilac-coloured robes, and he had a magical staff in his right hand topped off with a silver finial. The wire M&S shopping basket spoiled the look a bit, but what the hey - he had seemed like the real thing.
Dottie did a quick check of her Facebook. Yes! There he was! Someone else had seen him in Romford – drifting around in a mystical but meaningful sort of way. Perhaps he was just dressing up for a lark? Or perhaps he was a gamer who took his role-playing very seriously? Or perhaps…perhaps he was a real Druid, who had just temporarily abandoned his arcane duties for a few groceries. And why wouldn’t he? Foraging for wild mushrooms and whatnot can be a right nuisance if you have some Outstanding Invocations to sort out, especially if you’re feeling a bit peckish.
The Romford Druid would know what to do about the bee, Dottie was sure, but how to contact him? Hastily, she Googled ‘How to Summon a Druid’. Dang! Another arcane world opened up: this was all about building computer games, and how to get your Digital Druid to summon wolves and such like. Not what she needed. Perhaps she should contact the Order of Bards, Ovates and Druids – but this would take too much time, as you had to fill in a form and wait for someone to get in touch. Closer to home, the Elders of the Ancient Order of the Green Man were probably too sleepy this morning to get any sense out of them, and it was all starting to seem a bit hopeless, what with the bee still droning piteously against the glass.
And then… drifting through the glade came some sweet music – far off at first but then closer – a mellifluous and haunting melody that spoke of the ancient power, peace and harmony of the Forest. Playing an antique flute, the Romford Druid stepped into Dottie’s clearing and all the birds fell silent.
Within seconds, the bee had found the doorway and returned to the Forest, whilst the Druid stopped playing, and doffed his hat to Dottie. Carefully stowing his flute in an M&S carrier bag that he pulled out of his robes he disappeared back into the trees.
Well! Dottie had to sit down to get over it and to think about what had just happened. The headache had gone and clarity restored, enough for Dottie to come up with her advice for May:
- sometimes you can judge a book by its cover;
- the answer to 22 down is Grogginess and
- make sure you only wish for nice things because you never just know…(as Dottie’s Grandma used to say).
Original artwork by Dee Spencer-Perkins
Congratulations to Jess
Excellent news that Jess has now passed her UK Athletics Coach in Running Fitness (CIRF) coaching qualification. This means that she and I are now both fully qualified to put you through your paces (literally) at track. Plus, we have other members qualified to Leader in Running Fitness (LIRF) standard or with other fitness qualifications. Not bad value for your £3 track session…
Poll time – new track photo for website
I was thinking the other day that the photo of track on the BRR website needs updating. Jason must have read my mind and took some great shots at last Tuesday’s session. I narrowed it down to a shortlist of two (see below) but I’m having difficulty making up my mind which to use. So, like all indecisive people, I thought I would ask you! Please vote for your favourite photo here: https://forms.gle/vhNYbmhV5jctBJMy5
Photo 1 - drills
Photo 2 - the rear view
I plan to regularly update the photo on the website from now on, to keep it alive and fresh, so further pictures are always welcome.
Let’s Go Outside
The great outdoors? Or is Monty saying ‘you’re not making me run through that, Mum, are you?!’
There is further evidence of the benefits to your health of exercising outdoors. Researchers from the University of Exeter Medical School have calculated that physical exercise in natural environments prevents almost 13,000 cases of non-communicable diseases (NCDs) (i.e. diseases that aren’t spread by human contact) each year in England, saving the NHS around £108.7m.
The most common NCDs include heart and chronic lung disease, stroke, cancer, and diabetes. Together, these illnesses cause 74% of global mortality, according to the World Health Organisation, and cases are rising.
The Exeter University research looked at exercising in places such as the beach and coast, countryside, and urban open spaces like parks, alongside a survey of the English population. Using this data, they estimated how many cases of six major NCDs – major depressive disorder, type 2 diabetes, ischaemic heart disease, ischaemic stroke, colon cancer, and breast cancer – are prevented through nature-based recreational activities. They found that, in 2019, 22 million adults (16 years and over) in England visited natural environments at least once a week, and concluded that this prevented 12,763 cases of NCDs, particularly major depressive disorders.
There have been plenty of studies into the benefits of exercising outdoors, but this is the first one conducted on a national scale. One of the researchers, Dr James Grellier, said ‘we have almost certainly underestimated the true value of nature-based physical activity in terms of disease prevention.’
The team is hoping that their research results in greater investment in spaces like parks to make it easier for people to exercise outdoors. Unfortunately, I’d say that trend is in the opposite direction, with many green spaces being sacrificed for housing.
Race Review - Witham 5
I’ve run the Witham 5 in its various guises (the Boxing Day 5 and the May Day 5) on several occasions now. For a short while, the organisers (Witham Running Club) decided to make the May Day race a 10-miler but they saw the light and reverted to a much more civilised 5 miles this year. Starting and finishing at Witham Rugby Club, the race has a lovely atmosphere. This year, we weren’t allowed to park at the Club (we’ve previously parked on the playing field, but the volume of cars probably churned it up a bit too much), but there was plenty of free parking available at the local sports club and school about 10 minutes down the road.
The race starts at the back of the club, running through a quiet residential area before reaching the countryside. Then it’s fields all the way until the last mile or so, when you run back through the residential area, finishing at the front of the Club. Whoever thinks Essex is a flat county has never run in Essex. The first half of the race was a gentle but steady uphill. The second half was an equally gentle downhill, until a small kick-up at the end as you re-enter the Club grounds. Lots of encouragement from the faster runners who had already finished and were making their way back to the parking. I spotted the timing clock and forced myself into a sprint finish to come in under 50 minutes before remembering that I’d started at the back of the field and had about 30 seconds in hand. Doh! There was a fantastic, bespoke medal for every finisher. No water station on the course but a bottle at the end of the race, and some helpful kids to cut off the timing chip from your shoe so you didn’t have to bend down.
My only gripe was that this year they decided to have one of those coffee vans, which was charging £3 for a hot drink. A bit steep considering you could get a post-race cheeseburger in a bun and can of coke, provided by Witham Running Club themselves, for a fiver. That said, I think it may have given me food poisoning, so perhaps it wasn’t such a bargain after all.
We would love to see your race reviews, whether it’s for a race that the whole of BRR is doing (always good to see someone else’s take) or something that you have done solo. It doesn’t have to be a work of literary genius, just a few paragraphs setting out your thoughts about the race would be fantastic.
Greg’s Race Report
Round 1 of Barking Roadrunners’ summer 5k handicap series this week at Barking Park was won by John Whan in a photo finish with Martin Mason. Both runners bettered their handicap times by 1 minute 36 seconds and will have tougher times for round 2. Ninteen runners took part and 12 of those will face lower handicaps for round 2.
Sunny Bulchandani took part in the Hitchin 10k finishing in a time of 53:26. Sunny said it was hot and hilly causing him to struggle a bit but still managed a respectable time.
Sunny at the Hitchin 10k
Cristina and Trevor Cooper took part in the Milton Keynes Marathon festival with Cristina running the marathon, her second in as many weeks, finishing in an excellent time of 3:57:37 whilst Trevor competed in the Rocket 5k finishing in a time of 24:29 and also the half marathon in a time of 2:00:17.
The Coopers after their Milton Keyne’s madness.
Alison Fryatt took part in the Witham Mayday 5-mile race finishing in a good time of 49:32.
Alison after the Witham May Day 5.
Last, but definitely not least, Owen Wainhouse ran the Centurion Events Thames Path 100-mile ultra run finishing in a time of 26:53:53.
BRR parkrunners
Barking - Nehal Patel 21:46, Jagbir Bassi 22:01, Joshua Ezissi 24:17, Adrian Davison 24:19, John Whan 25:01, James Hall 25:24, Stephen Colloff 26:26, Sian Mansley 26:56, James Sheridan 26:59, Jason Li 27:18, John Lang 27:57, Rob Courtier 28:48, Louise Chappell 29:16, Martin Brooks 29:54, Paul Molina 30:05, Clodagh O’Callaghan 31:51, Faye Spooner 34:13, Rachel Sharples 35:34, Alan Murphy 51:52 and Micky Ball 56:47.
Chalkwell Beach - Antony Leckerman 24:13 and Ron Vialls 27:07.
Ron at parkrun with the mysterious woman removed from behind him.
Dartford Heath – Mark New 25:02.
Gunpowder - Paul Ward 27:50.
Haga Stockholm - Mark Odeku 22:49.
Mark Odeku at Haga parkrun - but where is Haga? Ah, Sweden!
Harrow Lodge - Rory Burr 25:28.
Raphael - Doug King 26:21.
Valentines - Kevin Wotton 24:46 and Andrew Gwilliam 39:43.
Whitley Bay - James Lowndes 21:57.
Highest BRR age gradings this week were Louise Chappell 57.29% for the women and for the men John Whan 71.35%
James L and friend at sunny Whitley Bay
BRR Diary – May
7.00pm, Thursday 9 May - Road Run. Jo Richardson School/Castle Green Centre, Gale Street, Dagenham. A social road run of around five miles. Nobody gets left behind.
9.30am Sunday 12 May – Training Run. The Discovery Centre, Eastbrookend Country Park, The Chase, Dagenham, RM7 0SS. Preparation for the D88 ELVIS race (see below) and to check out the park following the laying of new paths that might affect the course for our own Chingford League race later in the year.
7.00pm, Thursday 16 May – Summer 5k Handicap 02. Barking Park, Longbridge Road. Barking Park, Longbridge Road. Second race in this year’s competition! £1 entry (or still worth paying £5 in advance if you can do all the remaining 6 races in the competition), with a tenner prize to the first person across the finish line. Also, trophies for first second and third place in the series, based on the best five results across the seven races. NOTE: there will be no road run from Castle Green.
9.30am Sunday 12 May – Training Run. The Discovery Centre, Eastbrookend Country Park, The Chase, Dagenham, RM7 0SS. Preparation for the D88 ELVIS race (see below) and to check out the park following the laying of new paths that might affect the course for our own Chingford League race later in the year.
10.00am, Sunday 19 May – Great Baddow 10 (GP03). The Recreation Ground, Great Baddow, Chelmsford, Essex CM2 9RL. Enter at: https://baddowraces.co.uk/
7.30pm, Wednesday 22 May – Dagenham 88 5ish (EL01). The Discovery Centre, Eastbrookend Country Park, The Chase, Dagenham (Note: parking is in the May and Baker car park, not at the Discovery Centre). The first race in this year’s ELVIS series. Slightly cross-country so trails may be best, especially if it has been wet. Sign up here: https://events.kronosports.uk/event/310. Entries close on 20 May.
The D88 5ish course. Stars are marshal points.
Saturday 25 May - Barking parkrun cancelled!!! Why not visit another parkrun instead? Or sae yourself for a race over the weekend.
10.00am, Sunday 26 May 2024 – Thameside 10k / 5k and a 1k Tinies Toddle. The Essex Wildlife Trust Thameside Nature Discovery Centre, Mucking Wharf Road, Mucking, Stanford-Le-Hope, SS17 0RN. With fantastic views of the lake and the Thames Estuary, this is one for those of you who like fantastic scenery, and supporting wildlife. Enter at: https://www.entrycentral.com/Thameside10512024Races
11.00am, Monday 27 May - Hatfield Broad Oak 10k. Village Green, High Street, Hatfield Broad Oak. This is not a Club competition race, but it’s a nice way to spend a Bank Holiday Monday. There is a kids’ race too, and village fair, which is quite fun. More info and entries at https://broadoak10k.co.uk/
7.00pm, Thursday 30 May – Summer 5k Handicap 03. Barking Park, Longbridge Road. As above! Postponed due to the Percolate Festival set-up. Greg will let us know the alternative date.
Cracker Corner
I wrapped my feet in clingfilm this morning so I could pop to the shops.
After queuing for 15 minutes at the Post Office. the woman behind the counter said to me ‘I’m sorry for your wait.’ Cheeky thing – she wasn’t exactly skinny herself!
I’ve just left my job at the luminous ink factory. My boss gave me a glowing reference.
Boom! Boom!
Quote of the week
“The fact that I am able to settle down and physically and mentally relax is one of my greatest strengths. It is something every athlete should seek.”
Rob deCastella
US Marathon Runner
And finally…
Oh, no! I think I am suffering from a condition called ‘face pareidolia’. This is the psychological phenomenon where you see faces in inanimate objects. You know the sort of thing – an omelette that bears the face of Jesus, or a potato that looks like Greg Wallace.
A study by researchers from the University of New South Wales in Australia UNSW Sydney suggests that the human brain processes the "fake" face the same way it processes the real faces. That means the feeling of pareidolia "may be because the features of the object are activating mechanisms in your brain that are designed to read that kind of information from human faces".
Am I alone in my face pareidolia, or can anyone else see a face in this paper towel dispenser I saw in a restaurant toilet on my recent trip to Italy? At least he was happy…
